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| Dandelion Leaf in My Window Box April 20th 2020 |
In 2019 intensive care 'outreach' came to my bedside three times to advise nurses how to look after me. My temperature raged. My blood pressure sank. They monitored carefully in case my organs decided to shut down.
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| Sycamore seedling in my window box. Unfortunately this will have to be taken out but for the moment I can be pleased I am being visited by a tree. April 20th 2020 |
In 2019 two rounds of pretty heavy chemo didn't work. Even after I'd had a stem cell transplant, the leukaemia was still there. The consultant advised me that things did not look good. But the new stem cells settled in and I was given a trial drug 'on compassionate grounds'. Result! the leukaemia is in retreat. If it is still here, it is here in such a small amount it cannot be detected. This, note, is not the same as a definite 'cure' but it's pretty good.
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| Dead Daffodil Flower 20th April 2020 |
Obviously, I haven't come up with any brilliant ideas. I can't even work out what I want to do with my own life let alone understand the purpose of 'life' in general. But I do keep thinking about my friend's idea that we merely repeat ourselves.
With all this going on, I've still not really 'moved in'. Others would have been more efficient but I still have things in boxes and in odd and 'wrong' places. It's quite entertaining. I don't really know what I still own and what I disposed of before moving from Dorset to Halifax. Things keep turning up. The other day I was looking for a missing memory stick when I came across a package of writing from when I was at Junior School.
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P.S.
Because I live in England I have been in the care of the NHS. On behalf of the country as a whole it has spent thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds on keeping me alive and never once has anyone asked me if I'm worth it. I am a citizen, therefore I am cared for and my treatment is free. I am not a patriotic kind of person but I am bewildered when I realise having a system like this is not the aspiration of every country in the world. Goodness, am I grateful! I am hoping someone in the NHS will think preserving the life of a repetitive dandelion advocate is truly commensurate with the expense.
P.P.S.
The stem cells which saved my life were donated anonymously through the Anthony Nolan Trust. If you are between 16 and 30 years old you too can become a donor and save someone's life. If you are over 30 you are still able to help save lives through financial donations. The link is to the UK site but it operates a shared register with other countries too. I'm not sure how many, Germany is certainly one of them.
P.P.P.S.
In case you aren't able to read the text in the photographs, I've copied it out here - preserving the spelling!
"Wild Flowers"
"Wild flowers are often just as beautifull as garden flowers. When a wild flower is caught trespassing in a garden, it is normally uprooted and thrown away, but when it is found otherwise, the same plant is praised, picked, and taken home to decorate the house. Nature is one of the wonders of science, going on year after year, giving us food and delight. Sometimes when the words Vegitation or Vegitable are mentioned, our minds imediatly think of things like carots or cabages, so it is a good idea to remember the game anamal, VEGITABLE, and mineral.
If you look hard, even in the busy streets there are wild flowers. Dandelions grow tucked away in a crack under a wall. Mosses, ferns, and grasses are here and there, sometimes moss grows in between the paving stones, but the best place to look is in the country, there you don't need to look very hard, in winter it is not so good but nearly always the dead remains of plants can be found.
Different plants grow in different types of soil and climate, so before going out into the country to find any particular plant, it is best to check that you know where to find it."
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LinkAnthony Nolan Trust
62 comments:
A very fine post filled with enough to make us all contemplate life and its purpose. But not only that, we need to contemplate its rewards too. The fact that you are able to summon the courage to write this piece is a reward for all who read it. It perhaps leads to a greater appreciation of what we enjoy each day. I know that it sounds trite for me to say, but the three months of confinement will end, and there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. The moors and dells and glades, and country pathways, and cobbled streets, will once again feel the press of your feet, and the wind will blow through your hair. The sun will shine on you and the rain will make your garden grow. Thank you for this internet friendship. It means a lot to me and doubtless to many others. With my very best wishes, David
Wow - FOUR flights of stairs - you will be fit and feisty for hill climbing when you are released!
The Dandelion Warrior is definitely worth her price.
I have a great-niece in England who is a stem cell donation advocate - I always think of you - as the other half of that.
I love your window box! I hope you let your volunteer tree grow for a bit so you can rest (at least a finger tip) in the shade of a tree this summer.
Hi Lucy, dandelions are tenacious, a joy to encounter and make an important contribution to the natural world - much like yourself. Keep climbing those stairs!
What a great read . . . I love blogs that make me think, thank you. Just sorry you have had to endure so much and are in this position.
I too have a lawn full of dandelions and every time I think I “ought” to do something about them I realise they’re covered in bumblebees.
LOVE your premise that wild flowers in a garden are trespassing . . . Take care. 🌺🌻🌸
A thought-filled post. I too wonder sometimes why I am here, just as I have wondered why my son died and other young men less worthy (in my biased view) are still here. I had to conclude that it is not up to me to determine the worth of any other person in this world.
You no doubt contribute more than you know. This post for instance. And your gentle appreciation of the world around you. Thank you so much for writing this.
My wife loves dandelions. She enjoys seeing them every year. They are suvivors no matter how many times people try to eliminate them. Walking up four flights of stairs is quite a feat and impressive. I complained after climbing one flight that we had in our previous house.
Take care and enjoy your day!
I like to think that you're fine tuning the Dandelion message in a changing world.
You're a survivor Licy - keep on keeping on - stay safe and enjoy your dandelions
I love dandelions and think wild flowers are the best! ~ Am glad you are doing well ~ but certainly you good outside for walks ~ just avoiding people ~ that is what most people are doing here ~ walking where you keep 'social distancing' ~ just a thought ~ You are a treasure ~
Be Well,
A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)
Hi Lucy, you are a survivor like the dandelion. I love dandelions, their yellow colour looks so good mixed in with the green grass. Keep your self busy, online, or discovering treasures in your boxes, or imagining what you will do when you are allowed to go out,
Oh man, I'm glad you're home though. Can you ever get outside, maybe in the yard or on the stairs outside if you have them or drawing on the sidewalk with colored chalk? I think having so many unpacked boxes is a good thing, case in point, your childhood essay. And might I say, "Such excellent penmanship!"
Take care and keep repeating until you no longer can. "Carrots or cabbage" stuck out to me and would make a great title for something.
That was a hard time you went through and now the Coronavirus !!
That's a lot you went through and you are very lucky that you got so good care. And now this Virus ! We in Belgium fortunately have also a very good health system and lots of hospitals only with two bed rooms not more.Now with the Coronavirus there was still intensive care available and also rooms, while other countries had to built tents or military hospitals. When you are in good health you never think about it, but when it happens then it's good you get good care.
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Hello, I am happy you are a survivor, stay strong and healthy. It is good your government is helping you with both the food and the healthcare. We know the bees love the dandelions, we will leave them to grow in our yard. Stay calm and safe. Enjoy your day, wishing you a happy week ahead! PS, thank you for visiting my blog.
Lucy, what a joy to read your posts again. You are always a voice of sanity and inspiration and humour. This current scourge has given me an opportunity to do some “declutter”. It’s amazing what you find in boxes and under piles of whatever, isn’t it? I love dandelions - their cheerful colour and then the “clocks”. My “lawn” is full of them. Those shoots of green in your window box are life affirming.
You mention the NHS. I spent the first 24 years of my life in England and was there at its inception post World War II. For those Briton’s of a certain age, the name Dr. Edith Summerskill is synonymous with the NHS. Now I live in the U.S. where for some weird reason we do not have a single -payer health system. Perhaps COVID-19 will change that. We can hope.
Thank you and stay safe.
I don't know that I can add anything to what has already been said except to say that this heartfelt post is life affirming, which is much needed at present by all of us.
Take care. xx
I'm so glad you are fit again. Hopefully you will soon be able to wander the streets once more looking for those special "weeds".
It's amazing that you were writing about them all those years ago and that the idea stayed with you.
You speak so many true words - we don't change a bit, really, do we? Our interests stay basically the same all our lives.
All the best :)
I think that your first comment said everything Lucy and so beautifully. Thanks for sharing the young Lucy with us and thanks for being you and for loving dandelions. Take care.
Lucy it is so good to see you posting again though I am saddened to know that your health has given you so much worry. I hope that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and that, soon, you can release yourself from quarantine.
Dandelions are wonderful aren't they? There are a lot here just now and they are making me very happy. I enjoyed your youthful writing, worth holding onto I think.
My very best wishes to you!
I understand your concern. We have lost a family member to COVID and a good friend has it. I hope you stay well. I am turning to nature and wanted to let you know that I have restarted Nature Notes meme....Michelle
A wonderfully written and thoughtful post. I can't add to what others have said except to say "Take care".
Lucy. I came back and read the post again. I think that reflecting on life is going on all over the world where people have the time to do it. As a cancer survivor and one who has MS, I have asked myself this question again and again. Now as a senior with MS of which this virus could well be deadly, it has me thinking of this much of the time. I put my things in order and I have two young grandchildren who I would like to have some memory of me....You are lucky to have good medical care. Here in the US, I have to fight over and over again to have my meds covered and some aren't at all, yet too expensive to buy. It is a bad situation. May you and I both survive this..Michelle
I am so glad that you are improving physically! I'm not sure I have contemplated life as you have, but I just moved before all the lockdown stuff started and I still have boxes sitting around. I'm in no hurry to unpack as, the older I get the less I care about what I think I should be doing!
Your post is a lovely reveal of bits of your life, thank you for sharing.
You, my friend, are a "wild flower" and right about so many things, including the benefits of fresh air and the great outdoors. It is what drives me, especially now...:)jp
Hello David. Thank you for your encouraging comment. I agree. Despite being separated by many miles, cultures and all sorts of things, the connections we make through the internet can be very important. Sometimes I find myself thinking or speaking of a friend - then realise I've never actually met them!
Hello Diana. I said four flights but in fact it's only three. (Four storeys, a basement, a ground floor, a first floor and bedrooms in a dormer.) They are very steep though, especially the top ones, and I get LOTS of exercise going up and down!
Hello Susannah. I don't think I'll be able to leave the sycamore in the window box for long or it will disturb the other plants when I pull it out by its roots. They grow fast! There are several - one in each box and one landed in a pot. They are very pretty at this small stage but grow into VERY big trees!
Hello Phil. I'm glad you too like dandelions. Unlike other forms of exercise the stairs are unavoidable. It was fortunate I broke my arm and not my leg. If I had had a leg in plaster I would really have been stuck!
Hello Jayne. I now have a lovely image of your dandelion lawn and its bumblebees. I'm not sure I really think of wild flowers as 'trespassing'. Closer to my thinking is that they have the right to be in our gardens. But the neater, the more planned the garden, the more likely the owner will be to view them as invaders. Maybe this is changing though? Even the tidiest of gardeners becoming more aware of the value and interconnectivity of things? And maybe now there are more people with time to stare out of their windows, there will be more people valuing what happens by chance. How can one not like sunshine on a stalk?
Hello Granny Sue. Life can be hard. And lots of things don't make sense. But we plough on and joys leap out on us which don't follow any more of a pattern than harsh realities. But we can be (and are) glad for them.
Hello Bill. I made a mistake in writing the post. I said there are four flights of stairs in my house when there are only three. It shows how they loom in my consciousness. I'm very pleased to live in this house and one of the things I like about it is that two of the flights are made of stone - which makes me feel as if I'm living in a castle. (The house is nothing like a castle!) And the top flight is so steep it makes me feel as if I'm climbing to the crows' nest of a sailing ship when I go up them. (The house is nothing like a sailing ship!)
Hello Imperfect and Tense. Thank you for your comment. It makes me feel as if I have a role!
Hello Elaine. We have suddenly all had to become 'survivors'. We are all experiencing aspects of other people's lives we've never had to before. I read an article the other day by someone with autism who pointed out that now many of us without autism are experiencing what it is like to live with non-stop uncertainty. Perhaps we will come beyond the coronovirus with greater understanding.
Hello Carol at Shutterbug. Our government has divided the population into several categories and asked us to behave according to the limits set on each. Most people are still 'allowed' to go out for one walk or one other form of exercise a day, either on their own or with members of their immediate household but one and half million of us have been written to about being in the 'shielded' group and, because of our lack of resistance to infection. we have been asked not to leave the house for any reason for three months. In order to make this possible, we can be put in touch with volunteers who can do our shopping for us and the government even sends a box of food once a week!
Hello Linda I will try to follow your advice about being online and enjoying looking into boxes but for the most part I'm trying not think about what I will do when I get 'let out'. For one thing I've an awful feeling that this might turn out to be much further into the future than three months and for another it's hard to imagine what life will be like 'out there' when we emerge. Will we be able to travel far from our homes? Will we be able to stand next to people again, shake their hands, give them hugs? It's all so very doubtful I'm finding it best (at present) to live in the present and enjoy the very immediate - like . . . oh yes, there are oat crunchy biscuits in the tin. That is the next 'box' to open!
Hello Jeanna. I can open my door and come onto the front step when there's no-one around. In the next post I explain how by doing this in the middle of the night I even met a fox.
https://looseandleafyinhalifax.blogspot.com/2020/04/the-inside-and-outside.html
But I am not 'allowed' to go further than this.
Penmanship . . . our school went through phases of paying great attention to how we wrote. From the age of five we followed the Marion Richardson style of handwriting
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marion_Richardson
Later, sometime after seven years old, we switched to italic which was very laborious and slow so my handwriting, of necessity, gradually morphed into something which is neither of these styles but is fast! (Not as fast as typing though!)
Hello Gattina. I'm glad people in Belgium are being well cared for. It seems so . . . so . . . sensible.
Hello Eileen. It must be very hard to be a politician at present. Suddenly they are even more responsible than usual for the lives and well-being of their people and none of them will have had any training in how to do it. I doubt they'd even thought of it. For our own government it must be specially odd because they are having to ask people to do things which in normal life would be taken as a gross limitation of freedom and giving much more support to individuals and businesses than they would usually consider appropriate. It must go very much against their grain but they are rising to the challenge. It's good there are people who are able to sleep regardless of the burdens put on them.
Hello Liz. At present it is as if the sole object of government is to support the NHS. And although it is a state funded system there's an enormous amount of charitable fundraising for the staff and patients among the population as well. By chance we have a Conservative government at present, a government that had already been privatising elements of the NHS and was thought to be putting other aspects of it at risk by its Brexit (lack of) strategy. It's ironic (is that the right word in this context?) that this is the very government that's having to put its heart and soul at the service of the NHS and under whose term in office such a huge surge in popularity for the NHS has taken place. Hopefully, its staff will be treated better and all sorts of good things will happen once the coronovirus has gone. (Brexit was making it uncertain for a lot of staff whether they would be able to stay in their jobs and was set to make it difficult for other EU citizens to come to work for it. And nurses from this country had had their training bursaries taken away.) So, simultaneously it is put under strain yet (perhaps and hopefully) into greater safety by the coronavirus pandemic.
Hello Mike. I'm glad you found this to be a life affirming post.
Hello Pat at Squirrelbasket. I look forward to being able to walk around town again. I look forward to walking in the countryside again. But I try not to think about it too much or I get miserable. I am settling for feeling pleased about getting things done in the house - not decorating or useful stuff like that but trying to feel that washing the bathroom floor is a life-task accomplished rather than a boring chore. To a very small degree it's working!
Hello Anna. Yours too is a lovely comment. And you and your blog have also 'been there' in the background to my life over the last few years. (Probably these 'few' years are turning into 'a lot of years' when I think about it. We have been blogging for quite a long time!)
Hello Toffeeapple. From my window I can see several dandelion plants in the street. They have been flowering happily for quite a few weeks. Clocks are now beginning to develop. Maybe next year there will be even more!
Hello Michelle. Yes. May we both survive!
I am sorry to hear about your relative and hope your friend is already recovering.
I have no idea why a nation with as many clever people and as many advantages as the USA hasn't got an equivalent to our National Health Service. Nor can I grasp why there is actually a resistance to the very idea among so many Americans. Wouldn't it be wonderful if this virus helped to change that so you and all the others who are not given all the care they need could have their necessary medications supplied and their lives be properly valued?
Wishing you very best wishes at this difficult time.
P.S. Everyone. This is the link to Michelle's Rambling Woods blog where she is hosting a 'Nature Notes' link up every Monday.
https://ramblingwoods2.com/
There's a Mr Linky box for you to enter your 'Nature Notes' posts in - just as there is for Squirrelbasket's Tree Following. I missed this fact for the last couple of weeks and put my link in the comments by mistake. Sorry Michelle.
Hello Betty. I wouldn't have thought so much about 'life' if I hadn't been faced with possible death from Leukaemia - and this over rather an extended time. (I was first diagnosed at the end of November 2018.) I haven't come up with any answers and can't say the contemplation has helped - just introduced fear where there was certainty and made lots of things I enjoyed doing feel very inconsequential.
Boxes are fun. Boxes can be useful because you can use them to stash things while you get on with more interesting stuff. On the other hand . . . some of mine really are in the way. Gradually I'll have to do something about them. (Or some of them!)
Hello Quiet Corner.
I don't think I've been described as a 'wild flower' before - but it is rather wonderful. Thank you.
Hello John. Thank you for your kind and encouraging comment.
A wonderful post Lucy. Your words are inspiring but humble. I do wonder how you (until recently?) made your living. As a writer of some sort surely.
This is a beautiful post.
Dandelions are wonderful, I've noticed so many bees almost swimming in dandelions recently, they love them. I have photos which I should share on my blog. There's a dandelion appreciation society on Twitter (don't know if they have a presence elsewhere).
Hello, I just popped over from Flighty's blog . I am one of his followers ! :)
What a beautiful person you are ! I hope the sun is shining for you today and you continue to get stronger in your health again .
I especially love that you love the Dandelions and also that you are enjoying being visited by a tree ...how sweet !
Nice to meet you and have a lovely day :) hugs Debbie xxx
Hello Phil (Slade). Apologies for taking so long to reply. I wish I could say I have had a career as a writer but I haven't. And I don't have a specially interesting work history either. There's time yet though!
Hello Crafty Green Poet. Thank you for telling me about the Dandelion Appreciation Society on twitter. I have now found it and become a follower.
Hello Daisy Debs. I enjoy Mike / Flighty's blog too. Thank you for becoming a follower of Loose and Leafy.
Hello Michelle at Rambling Woods. The lack of universal health care in the USA must be a tremendous worry for its citizens - and is something that is almost incomprehensible looking across the Atlantic from here.
I hope there will be a way for you ultimately to get the medicines you need. And may I reiterate what we are all saying - stay safe. And very best wishes.
Michelle - apologies for replying twice! I have been thinking of you.
Hello Quiet Corner. I don't think I have ever been called a wild flower before. What a lovely compliment.
Hello Betty. Having boxes around the place is a bit like living in a treasure store. It's also a bit annoying when they get in the way! I like the house I'm living in but there's a distinct lack of cupboard space. That doesn't help when it comes to unpacking!
What a lovely post about your childhood thoughts of course not the medical problems although pleased you are in remission. Nice to visit your blog again albeit in a new home.
I'm so glad to read this. It strikes me that the plants planted a seed in you a long time ago, to notice and champion them.... CT x
Hello Joanne. And thank you. Glad you have found my new blog home.
Hello CT. Seems you are saying plants made an active decision to get me on board!
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