Sunday 26 April 2020

THE INSIDE AND THE OUTSIDE

Scallopini Squash plant on windowsill. Trees beyond.
Scallopini Squash plant on windowsill. Trees beyond.
Since being stuck indoors (see previous post) I've become more aware of the continuity between what's inside and what's outside.

In the normal way of things, when I leave my house I feel I'm moving from one world to another, almost between states of being. I cut ties briefly with what's 'inside' and become someone else. But now, whenever I step onto my doorstep I feel as if a thick band of elastic is holding me in place, poising me between two realms; human, yet, in a way, wild - for I glance round quickly to make sure there's no-one anywhere near. Humans have come to mean 'danger'.

The trees have 'leafed up' since the 13th April.
The trees have 'leafed up' since I wrote about them on 13th April.
The best time for this peering out is when it's dark so I've become semi-nocturnal. In the very early hours of the morning, when the world is empty of people I can step forward and take ten deep, deep breaths and allow ten deep, deep, exhalations. I can move far enough from the door to look back over the roof to see if the moon is there. Even put rubbish in the bin! In the middle of last night I opened the front door and gazed straight into the eyes of a fox that had leapt onto a wall on the other side of the path. We paused. For a few seconds we stared. I was sort of 'inside'. The fox was definitely 'outside'. Yet there we were, together. And now, when I look at seedlings on my windowsill I am aware not only of them (inside) but of trees beyond; on the other side, the outside, of the glass.

Weed' in its own pot on the windowsill. Trees beyond.
Weed' in its own pot on the windowsill. Trees beyond.
In this new life, the line between 'domestic' and 'wild', always a bit blurred in my mind, has become very immediate. Not only have dandelions and sycamore seedlings taken up residence in the window boxes, a 'weed' managed to germinate itself along with the tomatoes and I mistakenly gave it a pot. I will let it stay and grow - on my inside windowsill, in front of, and sort of merged with, the trees.

I have been looking at web cams. These hold a much firmer line between the 'inside' and the 'outside' but can still connect us remarkably intimately with what's going on elsewhere. We sit comfortably and observe. There's a bald eagle with three babies in Iowa (the close ups are incredible). And a white stork in the Netherlands - also with three chicks.  I sit and watch the Northern Lights - live (which means they aren't always there). For several years I've watched Dorset Barn Owls in spring but I find them less engaging. They live in what looks more and more like a smelly mess and make terrible hissing sounds - like water trying to force its way down a semi-blocked drain or someone noisily sucking the last of a chocolate milkshake through a straw - over and over!

Pot of Pot Marigolds seedlings, germinating on doorstep.
Pot of Pot Marigolds seedlings, germinating on doorstep.
I've also come across a wonderful website of feathers - Featherbase. You might like it too. Here are the feather pages for the three birds I am following.
Barn Owls - oh! no. No barn owl!

And to round things off, at the gateway between the inside and the immediate outside - pot-marigolds germinating on my doorstep, kindly sent as seeds from Mike at Flightplot. A third dimension: inside, outside, internet. Merging.

50 comments:

David M. Gascoigne, said...

Good morning Lucy: The encounter with the fox was no doubt memorable for both of you. These wily creatures have adopted cities as their own and I always enjoy seeing them. Good to see that web cams are providing you with entertainment, and not a little knowledge too I would imagine. Technology is amazing. Last evening we got on Facetime with friends in Australia. It's not quite as good as actually being there, but pretty damn close! Stay well! The time to when you may be able to step outside with abandon is getting ever closer.

Imperfect and Tense said...

Lucy, you have re-defined 'edgelands' beautifully. Thank you.

Flighty said...

Another lovely post and good pictures. Lucky you seeing a fox like that, they are wonderful animals.
Thanks for the mention, it's good to see that your pot marigolds are starting to grow. Take care. xx

Jo said...

I was only thinking about you the other day and wondering how your treatment was going, and then I've just seen a comment you left on Flighty's blog and then saw that you'd left a message on my blog. I'm thrilled to learn that your treatment has worked, I didn't realise you were blogging again so I've just read back and caught up on all your news. What a lovely encounter with the fox, I'm sure many of us miss out sleeping the clock round.

Bill said...

Going outside these days does feel different and strange. My wife and I go grocery shopping on Wednesdays and that is when we see the most people. We also can go for walks within 2km of our house, for us that means we can walk to the pier and around on the trails that are nearby. You encounter with the fox sounds incredible with both of you looking at each other.
Hope you have a good new week, take care and stay safe.

Phil Slade said...

Hello Lucy. You are fortunate indeed to have a close encounter with a fox. Here in shooting country foxes are mercilessly persecuted for fear they take pheasant and partridge reared for later death by gunshot. Consequently, foxes around here are extremely shy of man and perhaps so few, that I rarely see them even on early morning forays. If I could encourage any into the garden I would do so. My last was a freshly dead one in the middle of a fast country road. Very sad to see such a wonderful creature killed in a way that could perhaps have been avoided.

Interesting to see you are growing squash on a window sill. I hope it grows to the size of some I saw in Greece in September, probably 2ft or more girth and heavy enough to collapse a window box.

Stay writing, I enjoy your prose.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello David. I like the idea of 'stepping outside with abandon' but am wary of thinking it might be soon. I anticipate that when the three months is over the government might add another three months. I don't mean they would do this out of any other reason than to protect our lives - but it's still a daunting thought.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Imperfect and Tense. I had to look up 'edgelands'. An interesting concept.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Thank you, Mike. And thank you for the seeds. (They aren't all sown yet. When I have a little more room on the windowsills I'll start some more off indoors that can then be taken up to the allotment.)

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Jo. I am really fortunate that the combination of a stem cell transplant and the trial medication seem to be working. It's frustrating though that just as I start being able to go out and about after all these months the coronovirus turns up and sends me back indoors! I'm glad that you too are well. May we both continue this way!

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Bill. Having good places to walk nearby is really fortunate and liberating. I imagine all this confinement must be very difficult for people who have nowhere interesting within reach where they can go.

Yes. It was a special moment with the fox. Because the fox was on the wall and I was on the step we were at eye level with each other. It will be an 'etched in memory' moment.

Granny Sue said...


As always, an insightful post that offers a wide, deep perspective of what we might see but not really take time to think about. The fox--must have been breath-taking. I feel so fortunate, Lucy, that I am able to get out and wander at will, realizing now more than ever how valuable this freedom is. I do miss seeing people, but yes, they mean danger these days. I try to not see that as sad, but as wise, at least for this strange time.

Sue Garrett said...

I know what you mean about looking around you to make sure there are no people that you are likely to ‘bump’ into and I don’t just have the added problem of being In a shielded group. I’m just glad that we have a garden and can visit the allotment where there is the space to be separated. I really sympathise with those living in a flat with no outside space. My sister is in the vulnerable group and lives alone so we talk on the phone or FaceTime twice a day.

A friend of ours has foxes that visit her garden most nights as she pops food out for them. We were fortunate to see and photograph them once when visiting. They have had cubs too but we weren’t lucky enough to see those. Stay safe.

Gattina said...


Sometimes I have the feeling to dream or to be in another world. When I have to go out shopping and drive on the empty streets and see nobody it feels so strange I am happy when my shopping is done as quick as possible and then I return home in my save haven ! I wonder how it will be when we allowed to go out without restrictions on May 5th ! It will never be like before, crowds, traffic jams, overfilled shops etc etc.

carol l mckenna said...

Wonderful post and photography ~ you write so well of the social distancing ~ and what an amazing encounter with the Fox ~

There is a Native American book/cards entitled Medicine Cards and the animal's meaning when they show themselves to you ~ Fox is symbolic of 'camouflage' ~ ie. meaning to 'become like the wind, which is unseen and yet is able to weave into and through any location or situation ~ (much like you have written here today)...Fox medicine teaches the art of Oneness through the understanding of camouflage.

Take this for what it is worth and if it has no meaning for you that is okay too ~

Be Well,
A ShutterBug Explores,
aka (A Creative Harbor)

Karen Hall said...

Oh Lucy, I am just catching up and have been reading past posts.
I am sending you lots of love and very gentle virus free hugs - I still havent quite worked out how you got to Halifax from Dorset :)
xxxx

Birgitta said...

Beautiful green!

Sherrie said...

Hi,
Love the Squash Plant shot...so beautiful..Have a great day!

liz said...

Lucy, you have such an independent view of everything. Your musings are a source of rethinking my own ideas. You said you were rethinking your own life since your own recent challenges. You make me focus on nature in greater depth. I am forwarding this to several friends and acquaintances. Thank you. Be well.

Sandra Cox said...

Opening the door and seeing a fox. Wondrous.
The HH once had a racoon looking in the window at him in the middle of the night.

Crafty Green Poet said...

This is a lovely post, I enjoyed your thoughts about inside and outside and the encounter with the fox must have been wonderful.

Lee@A Guide to Northeastern Gardening said...

Your post and words are beautiful and put everything into perspective. Connections with nature are so much more meaningful these days and your encounter with the fox must have been enlightening. Take care and be well.

Jeanna said...

I know what you mean about moving from one world to another, inside to outside, especially since I've developed a ritual for leaving, getting into and out of the car, going into my mother's apartment, leaving, car, etc., all different worlds.
Don't think I knew about scallopini squash but I love the name and have been thinking about cooking with zucchini lately.
Thank you for all the great camera links, stay well, your post got my brain going.

Linda aka Crafty Gardener said...

Fantastic feather site. I'm a collector of feathers, usually know what they are but it is always good to check,
The dandelions are just beginning to bloom here, love to see their yellow heads popping up.

betty-NZ said...

Thanks for the great photos and information on finding things!


Feel free to share at My Corner of the World

Anna said...

Who knows what that weed may turn out to be - I'm glad that you are treasuring it Lucy. I'm off to see if I can see the Northern Lights. Thanks for the link xxx

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

I think that living here has blurred the distinction between in and out. Often it’s warmer outside. Insect and other life really wants to be inside. And then the virus is making me want to turn in on myself and to feel that only at home am I safe. And then again being outside provides comfort and elation and stops me disappearing up my own arse. Keep on going outside I think, for me anyway.

Diana Studer said...

Foxes and Northern lights!

When I saw this today, I thought of you, and how you enjoy finding interesting plants in overlooked places.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/may/01/not-just-weeds-how-rebel-botanists-are-using-graffiti-to-name-forgotten-flora-aoe

Stewart M said...

We are living in a very strange time. The connections - small though they may be at time - with nature will help us I am sure. I always watch the birds in may garden, but now the rewards seem greater, even if I am seeing the same birds!

Cheers - Stewart M - Melbourne (ps: how are things in your neck of the woods?)

Sharon Wagner said...

I love feathers and pick them up when I see them. Sometimes I stick them in my cap. Thanks for visiting my blog!

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Phil (Slade). I once stayed in a bed-and-breakfast at Portland Bill on the south coast of England where part of the attraction of the place was that in the evening the owner turned on an outside light when he fed foxes and turned the inside lights off so guests could see them.
I certainly hope the squashes on this plant don't grow that big! They are little patti-pan squashes that you eat (skin and all) when they are about four inches across.
This is them.
https://marshallsgarden.com/products/squash-scallopini-mix-seeds-10202606
I've grown them before and they are very juicy and tasty.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Granny Sue. I'm glad you can get out and around - even though you miss people. This virus (and the way we are being asked to deal with it / evade it / avoid it) calls out some inner strengths.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Sue (Garrett). I've seen badger cubs but never fox cubs - unless you count a young fox which hounded us for our chips while picnicing on a Dorset beach!

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Gattina. I feel I'm missing out on a special experience - being able to see a wider bit of the town while it is shut down than what I can see from my doorstep. And I wish I could go walking in places like London or Venice while they are empty.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Carol. I once spent a few months on Exmoor (in Devon in the south west of England) spending a lot of time in the woods, walking by the river and watching red deer. From there I went to London - and found people were simply not seeing me. Doors fell back in my face. People at counters failed to ask me for my money in the queue and moved on to the next customer even though I was wearing a bright red coat. Somehow I had 'stilled' down in such a way that I had become 'invisible'. Your camouflage.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Karen - all explained about how I landed up in Halifax in an email I've now sent you!

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Birgitta. There are so many interesting greens. And something I have learnt is that they vary depending on where in the country you live.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Sherrie. I'm glad you like the squash plant photo. And thanks for letting me know. I like it too when light shines through leaves so you can see their spines and veins and cells (or whatever one might call them!).

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Liz. I am so encouraged by your words! And thank you for introducing Loose and Leafy to your friends - and for sending me a copy of the email you wrote to accompany it. So very, very kind.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Sandra. A raccoon in the middle of the night! Do you know how he felt? Was it amusing or unnerving?

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Crafty Green Poet. I am glad you enjoyed the post. Thank you.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Lee. I hope you too are keeping well.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Jeanna. Have you looked at the video links recently? The bald eagle chicks have got new, brown and glossy feathers and the stork chicks are fluffy, large and sweet.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Linda. By the time I am writing this the dandelions are nearly over - more clocks than flowers at present. I like sites like the feather one not just for ID but because they look so beautiful laid out like that and because I admire the careful commitment of the people who gather all this evidence together - so neatly, so rigorously.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Liz. Apologies for getting back to you so late - my attention has been in all sorts of other places. I look forward now to exploring some of the blogs entered as contributions to your 'My Corner of the World'.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Anna - today (17th May) my 'weed' is opening its single flower. If it lasts till tomorrow I will take its portrait.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Elizabeth. It's odd that, when it's cold indoors and warm outside. Yes. Keep going out - where you are safe and already in the countryside. I look forward to being released from this 'shielding' but suspect it will go on for a while yet. Whoever would have thought that monthly hospital visits would have become THE exciting event of the month because they mean leaving the house - and not only that . . . going to another town!

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Diana, Thank you for the link - and thank you for thinking of me when you read the article. I find that an exciting idea - chalking the names of wild plants next to where they grow through our pavements and on our walls. I'm shocked though to read that it's illegal to do this in England. What on earth can be the problem about writing something interesting and ephemeral on the ground? Given the number of old sofas cupboards and fridges that have been abandoned in the woods around here and along the moorland road-sides, I think the council would feel pretty stupid if anyone got prosecuted for chalking 'Herb Robert' beside a lovely pink flower.

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Stewart M. That's a thing. Are we seeing something because it's there for the first time or because it's the first time we've noticed it?
For a couple of weeks there was a wren - sometimes seen, often loudly singing. Haven't seen or heard it for days. Is this because it's become familiar so I'm not noticing it any more? Or because it has a nest nearby and doesn't want to draw attention to it? Or has it gone away? And the bats . . . have they stopped coming to this end of the street or are they simply on the other side of the trees so I can no longer see them? . . . Things are still interesting in 'this neck of the woods'!

Lucy Corrander Now in Halifax! said...

Hello Sharon. When I was a child, whenever I came across a pigeon feather I'd stick it in my hair. (Later I heard that pigeons and gulls can carry botulism so it was good that I'd grown out of the habit by then!) The little blue feathers which fall from Jays are good for hats, if ever you come across them.